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Thursday, August 13, 2009

Ironies of Motherhood

Top 10 "Ironies of Motherhood"

1.) That you could miss your little one SO much all day at work, but be unbelievably relieved when he falls asleep an hour after you get home.

2.) You ask your child to share toys and she won't, but if Dora the Explorer asked her to remove someone's pancreas, she'd grab a scalpel.

3.) How your son is his basketball team's MVP, but heaven forbid he could get a pair of socks in the hamper.

4.) It was inconceivable that you'd pay for sex. Now you shell out $15 an hour for a sitter so you can go to a motel with your husband.

5.) That you looked forward to girl's night out for weeks, then spent it debating if Hannah Montana is a good role model.

6.) You always dreamed of having a convertible. You never dreamed it would mean a co-sleeper that turns into a bassinet.

7.) Until he was 11, your son thought girls were yucky and nothing you said convinced him otherwise. Now you just wish he would find Alexa next door (and her belly shirts) less appealing.

8.) You spent years begging your child to eat veggies, then last night she called you a murderer for serving steak.

9.) How quickly giving your child an allowance for chores turned into her refusing to do anything unless she's paid.

10.) Tough as it was when your child clung to you at the entrance to her pre-K, it's worse when she hisses, "Don't kiss me!" as you drop her off in fourth grade.

(Source: July issue of Parenting magazine)

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